Sometimes, the line between life and death is so thin, luck is people’s only friend survival-wise. It doesn’t really help if said person also tends to make poor choices in life, but there is also a point where people start thinking they just naturally draw misfortune, but I digress.
And, sometimes, people share these stories in a viral Reddit thread asking people to share the stupidest ways they almost kicked the bucket, whether it’s stupid because of their own choices, or stupid because the circumstances and the chain of events were caused by stupidity.
Speaking of which, there’s a Reddit thread where people are sharing stories of how they almost died, all thanks to varying degrees of stupidity. It got 41,200 upvotes and people’s engagement went over 18,500 comments.
Bored Panda collected the best stories and responses and made a curated list for y’all, so scroll down and enjoy. Oh, and don’t forget to comment and all that jazz.
More Info: Reddit
#1Went to go visit a friend in Gloucester Mass in winter back in high school far from my home. I was planning on staying overnight at their house but their mother who I now know has mental health problems wouldn’t even let me in the house because the father "wasn’t home" working a night shift. Friend said sorry bro and closed the door. Almost froze to death waiting outside in 10 degree F at night. A cab driver saw me slumped on a bench and woke me up. Let me get warm and drive around in the passenger seat while he picked up drunk people out on the town all night. When he finished his shift he dropped me off at the train station and handed me 7 bucks for the fare. Dude probably saved my life and I can’t even remember his name.
Image credits: kdubbsd
#2I walked into a back room freezer of a grocery store. The huge door was designed to close automatically. I knew this and went in and did what I was there to do. After 30 seconds, I couldn’t catch my breath. I thought maybe I was just working to hard so I stopped and took several huge breaths, nothing. I felt like I was drowning out of water. I had to move as quickly as I could back outside of the freezer and feel to my knees gasping when I got out. It was only afterwards I realized for some dumb reason someone kept open dry ice in a cart inside of the freezer.
Dry ice removes oxygen out of the air in enclosed spaces. I almost died from lack of oxygen and would have been an icicle when they found me.
Don’t f**k with dry ice.
Image credits: bdx22
#3Being sleepy on the road. Don't. Find a spot and sleep a bit.
Seriously, it happened to me twice. You think you won't fall asleep, but you will.
Image credits: taioshin14
#4Went to Grand Canyon and tried to be funny and acted like I was gonna slip,[it was snowing], and ended up almost really slipping and falling. Some random guy scolded me like a little kid because he got more scared than me.
Image credits: gee_west
#5Stuck my head out the car window bc I wanted to see why dogs loved it. My grandpa didnt notice, rolled up the window, and I choked. He freaked out when he heard the cat like noises (ironic) I was making while my neck was trying to squeeze through the small opening of the window, but kept raising the window in his panic. Eventually he got it and I was left with a red mark on my neck and no closer to understanding dogs.
My grandpa passed earlier this year so its a nice way to remember him and I know he' get a chuckle to know people found it funny.
it was meant to be funny so dont feel bad for laughing. My lil sis was in the seat next to me when this happened and she was laughing too, funny then, funny now.
Image credits: guppied
#6I snorkelled too far out into the ocean, and it wasn't because it was a riptide, I just got distracted by pretty fish
Image credits: disneyisinatlantis
#7I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I was getting off the school bus and was walking around to the other side to my driveway. Suddenly the bus driver hits the horn, scared the hell out of me and I stopped at the edge of the front of a bus and a dump truck good speeding around. I dunno if the dump truck driver didn't see the lights of the bus or whatever but that driver made a dumb mistake that could have cost me my life. Thinking about it my older sister was up at our driveway waiting for me, probably would have messed her up for life
After that the school district changed bus routes to avoid students having to cross the road to get on or off the bus
Image credits: Psyco_diver
#8Waited too long to go to the hospital (pre-Covid) I thought I just had a cold. Husband said, go to the doctor. I said no. Three days later, still not great. Husband said, go to urgent care. I said I will if I don't feel better tomorrow. Next day, I tell husband, I need to go to the ER. A collapsed lung due to pneumonia.Three days in hospital plus breathing issues for the next year. Moral: Listen to your spouse. And yeah, got a whole lot of "I told you so"s. Deserved every one of them.
Image credits: susgrigs
#9I commented on a controversial post on reddit
Image credits: guster09
#10While drunk, I sat down outside...to rest for a moment...on a freezing cold Winter's night. Fortunately, a passerby noticed me and encouraged me to get inside. I figure I was probably there dozing for several minutes.
Image credits: humorous_anecdote
#11Smoked cigarettes for 23 years. Had a heart attack at 39. Pretty f**kin' stupid if you ask me.
Image credits: Siray
#12Taking apart a dryer completely to clean it out and get it running smoothly again, dropped a screwdriver onto an exposed wire… huge arc and zap sound. I had left it plugged in (up until I realized the incredibly smooth-brained move I had pulled)
Image credits: gijoey959
#13I almost drowned in the sea as a kid. A current pushed me away from the shore. Lifeguards saved me and were slapping my face. I thought it was a punishment but they were resuscitating me.
Image credits: aceh40
#14Started hiccuping with peanut butter in my mouth. Peanut butter went down the wrong tube, I started choking, but couldn’t cough bc these hiccups wouldn’t f**king stop. Finally leaned over and managed to cough it out, but it was a close call
Image credits: BalaTheTravelDweller
#15I'm Italian but have been living in the UK for two years
Guess who looked at the wrong side of the road while a Bus was coming trough?
Everytime I went back to Italy I risked my life for the same reason by getting used to drive to the left and viceversa
Image credits: Pellem01
#16Swam under a shipyard pier at night (solid concrete above me) and lost my sense of direction. Got lucky and found my way out.
To add more detail - A friend and I were "assault swimmers" attacking a ship for a training exercise at night. We would swim from pier pylon to pylon underwater. Take a breath, go under, push off, and swim ~20' to the next pylon, surface and repeat. My mask broke and I was doing it with my eyes closed due to having contacts at the time. One time I just kept swimming and felt like I missed the pylon. When I went to slowly broach the surface I found myself under the concrete above. I had no idea the pier was even built like that. Put my hands up and oriented myself. It looked dark in all directions but my gut told me to the right is where I came from. After that, I stayed on the surface! Cheers!
Image credits: bomb-diggity-sailor
#17Came very close (about two inches) to backing into a warehouse rack full of two ton coils of sheet metal when I didn't realise that my forklift was in reverse.
Image credits: seefith
#18I stuck my head in a random beaker to sniff something in chem lab, I have been very good about wafting since
Image credits: plrbear237
#19Yelling at someone in the hood, they tried to run me over with their car and then got out and chased me
Image credits: Other-Image
#20Grown adult and choked on mozzarella cheese. Was only alone for 20 minutes. Can't imagine the obituary
Image credits: [deleted]
#21Literally today, getting undressed to shower and as my pants fell to my ankles I went to step out of them and tripped, almost walloped my head on the sink
Image credits: HybridPacman
#22Drove on an interstate during a hurricane and watched all the cars around me get submerged
Image credits: Soft-Caterpillar-618
#23Unplugging the washing machine with wet hands. My hand slipped onto the prongs while they were still partially in the outlet, and I think my heart stopped for a second before I yanked the plug free. Definitely do not recommend.
Image credits: pseudosiren
#24Fell through the ice. The great lakes freeze partially in the winter. Far out there was an ice ridge, and on the other side was this clear glassy ice as far out as I could see. I climbed over the ridge to take a leak in privacy, but it wasn't solid. Went through. Wife had to put down our first infant son to fish me out.
Image credits: Ferreteria
#25Choked on a small potato at the Pizza Hut salad bar. Completely lodged in my throat. I raced to the loo and shoved my fingers down my throat, and it popped out. Walked back to my table and finished my salad. I was with my boyfriend. He did nothing. I grabbed the waitress’s arm. All she did was say “is she okay?” to my boyfriend. Hence running to the loo to deal with it myself!!
Image credits: ScarlettWilson13
#26Choked on a life saver
No the hole In the center is not for breathing. Life Savers have holes in them because the inventor, Clarence Crace wanted to create a unique candy. Back in 1912 (109 years ago)
Image credits: ZeSavageCabbage
#27Choked on a hamburger in 8th grade beside my old friend who was too busy flirting until someone else saved me
Image credits: cjr11000
#28I was very small (probably around 5) and when my mum wasn’t looking I tied some clothes around my neck and hooked it to the stair railings, then tried to jump off the railings to see if they would hold me. Fortunately I was too small to climb over the railings and my mum found me before I would’ve jumped.
Image credits: Groundbreaking_Roll9
#29Almost got my head squashed by a car due to a small pebble making me fall on the main road
Image credits: KingFisher0424
#30I let my anger get the best of me and DID NOT hold the piece of wood against the mitre saw wall. (For those that don't know if you don't do that it will without fail take the wood and catch it on one of the blade parts sending you into it with the wood)
Image credits: -Camron-
#31Climbed into one of those power supply units, that supply power to the whole road, whilst retrieving a ball.
Image credits: gliitch0xFF
#32Crashed my bike into a parked car
Image credits: cutiegirl88